I almost didn't make it & You?

You are here!  I am so happy you could make it!

I almost did not.  Things began 'normally' but then took a turn towards the wildly uncertain - stagnated - and now are semi-resolved, I think.

Here are the lessons I want to share, but first - The Vlog & The Podcast!

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It is funny to me that those closest have no interest in my digital musings.  I think of you who are reading, listening, or watching as someone I would like to know in person but yet I can't seem to find people I feel at ease with in person.

Today had a crisis of sorts rear its head up.  I did a bit of the panic dance and while the details are not important - how the 'other' responds is.

There is so much we can't control on top of that list is who we can count on and who we can't.  "I'll be there" is a great song, but it is not until the need shows can we know if the offer is true.

But my first response was today - I can't do this blog/podcast/vlog if I have to jump in the car and get back to California ASAP.

How can I commit to you when there is so much that could prevent me from holding up my end?

The real questions of what do we actually 'owe' each other show up.  But also, so do the limitations we forget impact our lives in the crisis but not in the calm.

The bottom line, nothing is guaranteed or perfect or exactly as we think it should be.

We all do the best we can in any moment and none of us are going to get everything we want and think we need when we need it.  Disappointment in the face of uncertainty is our only guarantee.

And that, sucks.

Especially when the crisis is BIG.  And OURS.

My day is 2/3'rds over and I have yet to start the video section.  I lost SOOOO much time today after being so happy to have this day to my self and now, it is almost gone.

I don't WANT to do the video.  I want to curl up and withdraw.

But I also want to keep my commitment to my self, that I would do 1 video for the next 7 days.  This would be day 3.  I can't quit now.

Because I am asking you to not quit either.  Despite the bad day, the hard day, the uncertain day, and mostly the unplanned day.  You just show up. 

I know I can.  I want to know I will.  Even if it isn't very close to what I had imagined in the moments before the sun did rise this morning.

That is how we do this.  That is how you do this.  Sometimes it is all you can do to just show up.  That, my dear friend, is always enough.

See you in 24 hours.

Jill

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